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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided bar chart illustrates the proportion of
males
Use synonyms
 and females
age
Use synonyms
 brackets who exercise daily in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the chart is that in the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 45 to 54 years old women did the highest participation,
while
Linking Words
 men in their youngest
age
Use synonyms
 did the greatest amount of physical work.
Moreover
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, in all the
age
Use synonyms
 brackets women participated higher than men except in the 15 to 24 years old
group
Use synonyms
. Looking at the graph, it can be clearly seen that in the 15 to 24
age
Use synonyms
 the participation of women was 47.7% ,
although
Linking Words
 it rose moderately to 53.3% in the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 of 45 to 54;
however
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, it declined over the passing
age
Use synonyms
 to 47.1% in the 65 and above
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
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, regarding
males
Use synonyms
, the percentage of
males
Use synonyms
 in the youngest
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 was higher than any other
age
Use synonyms
 bracket, at 52.8%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it was the only
group
Use synonyms
 in which there were higher
males
Use synonyms
 than females doing exercise daily,
whereas
Linking Words
 the Men participation rate fell to its lowest among 35 to 44 years old, at 39.5%, before rising gradually to 46.7% in the 65 and over
age
Use synonyms
 bracket.
This
Linking Words
 rate was very close to the figure for females in the same
group
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words males, age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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