Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

Some people believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
regular physical
exercise
should be the responsibility of the parents because they exactly know the capability of their
children
.
Also
, parents understood if their kids can do
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
certain
sports
or not.
Moreover
, they say that physical
sports
cannot help their kids in the future as it is just a waste of time to spend in
school
.
Instead
of doing
exercise
, they can replace
this
to
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with
show examples
a more useful activity that can help their
children
to be smart.
Furtheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, removing
exericise
Correct your spelling
exercise
in
school
will give more time to
other major subject
Change the wording
another major subject
other major subjects
show examples
to be focused on since nowadays, big companies are looking for people who has more knowledge
in
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of
show examples
academics.
However
,
in
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from
show examples
my perspective, I believe that
exercise
is as important as other major subjects in
school
. By doing so,
children
can
awake
Correct your spelling
awaken
show examples
their
body
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bodies
show examples
before starting the class and that will help them to be more productive in
school
.
In addition
, learning
sports
in
school
will help the kids to be socialized with other
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
. They will
also
learn how to accept whatever the result may lead to when doing
sports
.
Children
will be able to be active
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
and participate
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
all other
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
.
In my
Change preposition
My
show examples
experience, when I was in
school
, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
learned a lot when our teacher told us to join in
volleyball
Add an article
the volleyball
show examples
team. She gave us some tips and tricks on how we can win the game and somehow, I was able to apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in life. In my conclusion, physical
exercise
or
sports
must still be learned in
school
as it will develop the growth of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • structured environment
  • inclination
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • cooperation
  • academic time
  • intellectual development
  • after-school activities
  • relegated
  • family bond
  • supervised
  • well-being
  • equipment
  • expertise
  • professional physical education teachers
  • safe and beneficial
What to do next:
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