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Ensuring that children have regular physical exercise should be the responsibility of parents and therefore schools should not waste valuable school time having sports lessons as part of the curriculum. To what extent do you agree?

#children #exercise #responsibility #parents #schools #waste #school #time #sports #lessons #part #curriculum
Some people believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 regular physical
exercise
 should be the responsibility of the parents because they exactly know the capability of their
children
.
Also
, parents understood if their kids can do
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
certain
sports
 or not.
Moreover
, they say that physical
sports
 cannot help their kids in the future as it is just a waste of time to spend in
school
.
Instead
 of doing
exercise
, they can replace
this
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a more useful activity that can help their
children
 to be smart.
Furtheremore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, removing
exericise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 in
school
 will give more time to
other major subject
Change the wording
another major subject
other major subjects
show examples
 to be focused on since nowadays, big companies are looking for people who has more knowledge
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 academics.
However
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 my perspective, I believe that
exercise
 is as important as other major subjects in
school
. By doing so,
children
 can
awake
Correct your spelling
awaken
show examples
 their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 before starting the class and that will help them to be more productive in
school
.
In addition
, learning
sports
 in
school
 will help the kids to be socialized with other
kid
Fix the agreement mistake
kids
show examples
. They will
also
 learn how to accept whatever the result may lead to when doing
sports
.
Children
 will be able to be active
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 and participate
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all other
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
.
In my
Change preposition
My
show examples
 experience, when I was in
school
, I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
learned a lot when our teacher told us to join in
volleyball
Add an article
the volleyball
show examples
 team. She gave us some tips and tricks on how we can win the game and somehow, I was able to apply
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in life. In my conclusion, physical
exercise
 or
sports
 must still be learned in
school
 as it will develop the growth of
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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