The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The pie charts compare the proportion of four different categories of online retail

sales

in New Zealand during two distinct time periods.

Overall

, it is noticeable that film or music and book

sales

experienced an increase over the ten-year span,

while

the

travel

and clothing sectors showed a decline. In 2003, online

sales

in the

travel

industry in New Zealand made up 36% of the total sector, which was 12% higher than the clothing sector.

However

, both categories experienced a significant drop by 2013, with

travel

dropping to 29% and clothing to 16%. Regarding the film or music category, there was a noticeable surge in online

sales

, which rose by 12% to reach 33% in 2013. For the book sector, there was a slight increase from 19% in 2003 to 22% in 2013.

To sum up

, the data clearly shows that the online

sales

travel

and clothing categories in New Zealand decreased between 2003 and 2013,

while

the

sales

of film or music and books increased during the same period.

Submitted by Abdu.abetayev on Mon Mar 13 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, travel with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

171 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people say that it is better to work for the large company than a small one? Do you agree/disagree?

Some people think that a law should exist so that young people under 18 cannot be out after the midnight, others think it should not be. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.