IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some countries encourage teenagers to have part time job and see it is a good thing, while others disagree. Give your opinion and explain both views.

#countries #teenagers #part #time #job
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It's always good to try new things to do from a young age.
Teenagers
Use synonyms
 who have a part-time
job
Use synonyms
 seem to be more flexible
while
Linking Words
 dealing with them and they are really good
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 time management. I strongly agree with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 idea, that some countries encourage
teenagers
Use synonyms
 to have a part-time
job
Use synonyms
. On the first hand, it is a good thing because when working from a young age, the teen will learn how to be more dependent and learn a lot of different skills related to their work.
For example
Linking Words
, the teen will be professional in communication skills, because he or she definitely dealt with a whole range of people.
In addition
Linking Words
, by working the teen will get more experience from a young age
also
Linking Words
, it will help them to take the correct choice of many things in their lives and to know what are their preferences before going to college.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some people who dislike the idea of working in a part-time
job
Use synonyms
 for
teenagers
Use synonyms
. Somehow others think that studying is the most important thing for a teenager to do and to focus more on
school
Add an article
the school
a school
show examples
 to get into a better
job
Use synonyms
 in the future
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as, when
teenagers
Use synonyms
 graduate school with a high degree, they will be having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 greater chance for a better
job
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, people's opinions differ from one to another about encouraging
teenagers
Use synonyms
 to have a part-time
job
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 some countries encourage teens about working, by giving them the best opportunity.
Submitted by dialamustafaalwais on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: