IELTS Writing Correction Service / Writing Samples / Band 5 In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of this. How can we deal with those causes?

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In developing nations,the ratio of
crime
Use synonyms
growing exponentially over time.
This
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is happening
because
Add the preposition
ofbecause
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lack of
job
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opportunities for young
people
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and the excessive use of modern technology.To overcome
this
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issue the
government
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should spend more money to produce more and more
job
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areas,
along with
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training youngsters with various practical skills. The primary reason behind the enormous increase in
crime
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is unemployment.
In other words
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,in developing countries,the population is huge because of that the
government
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can't able to supply all the facilities to the
people
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and
also
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the
Correct article usage
a
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shortage of
job
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area .
This
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is why they interact
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
with bad activities
such
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as robbing, snatching even murdering individuals.To illustrate
this
Linking Words
when a student completes graduation they struggle for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
but if they aren't able to manage a
job
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eventually committed themselves to worse activities.Another reason would be modern technology because kids spend most of their time on the internet.
Therefore
Linking Words
they met with various
people
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who lead them often in the wrong way. To get rid of
this
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problem the
government
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should extend the
job
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area.To be precise,if the
government
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spend money to increase all sector in order to prolong
job
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opportunities rather than particular one that would be more beneficial.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
,the
government
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should give practical training to illiterate persons so that they can acquire skills .
For instance
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, the Bangladesh
government
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take so many necessary steps to solve unemployment,which is the main reason for the constantly upgrowing
crime
Use synonyms
.The
government
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aid peoples by acknowledging them in various skills .
Moreover
Linking Words
,the management should give unemployment allowance. In conclusion,
crime
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destroys our social peace and most
people
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committed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
for money or they have no
job
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,to mitigate
this
Linking Words
issue the
government
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should extend
job
Use synonyms
areas
as well as
Linking Words
make skilled
people
Use synonyms
by giving them proper training.
Submitted by rabek440 on

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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