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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, many people change jobs quite regularly, rather than working in the company for their entire careers. Why do you think this is happening? How can companies keep their workers?

#people #change #jobs #company #careers #companies #workers
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In recent years, the majority of people are deciding to change their occupation more frequently than staying in one company
whole
Correct pronoun usage
their whole
show examples
 working career.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 issue is becoming more serious from year to year.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, for
employers
Add a comma
,employers
show examples
 it is rough to fill the gap after losing an employee. What do companies have to do to keep a productive worker in business? First and foremost, humans are looking for new jobs because they want to find something more valuable
as well as
Linking Words
 profitable.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
 that, plenty of companies have a lot of fringe benefits, which make people more likely to work in
such
Linking Words
 a firm and broaden their horizons there. What is more, money plays a crucial role and it is a key benefit when it comes
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work,
thus
Linking Words
 people want to find more lucrative and independent jobs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, management can offer a lot of perks and extra activities to keep
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the company
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worthwhile and beneficial employee. To cite an example, the Google company has in their office a lot of amenities
such
Linking Words
 as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
playing
Correct article usage
a playing
show examples
 room,
chill
Correct article usage
a chill
show examples
 room and a
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
 well-equipped kitchen where workers can prepare their meals and drinks.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, organisations can provide gift cards and physical gifts as a reward for
excellence
Replace the word
excellent
show examples
 work results. Taking everything into consideration, the labour market these days becomes more open and for
workers
Add a comma
,workers
show examples
 it is effortless to find a new profession and start from the beginning.
Hence
Linking Words
, employers should take care of their workers and provide them
plenty
Change preposition
with plenty
show examples
 of benefits.
Submitted by jula.wierzba on

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