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Band 5.5

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#schools #force #children #language
These days, many people argue that pupils should not be forced to learn another
language
 at school. I totally support that idea , for the reasons I will outline below. It may bring many benefits if children are encouraged to learn a second
language
 during their school years. The first reason is that learning a foreign
language
 can broaden their horizon when the
students
 know a new
language
, they can get a better understanding of the culture whose
language
 they learn.
That is
 why some researchers find that studying a new
language
 can make people smarter and improve their memories a lot.
Besides
, almost
knowledge
Correct determiner usage
all knowledge
show examples
 of human beings is written in international languages, especially English.
Therefore
, by learning another
language
students
 can understand more about scientific achievements and the world’s developments.
On the other hand
, schools should encourage
students
 to learn a foreign
language
instead
 of forcing them.
Firstly
, pupils can not learn effectively under pressure.
For instance
, it is easily seen that there are many children whose parents oblige them to learn a lot and
this
 causes severe stress and anxiety in offspring.
Thus
, they can not study better.
Secondly
, teachers should motivate
students
 and give them detailed explanations of what they learn a foreign
language
 for. Knowing the reasons and necessity why they need to learn a new
language
 can help them to put their effort into studying and can instil in them the value of learning. In conclusion,
although
 learning a foreign
language
 is necessary, schools should not force children to learn it, they only ought to encourage them to do that.
Submitted by phamnhung275 on

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure is weak and lacks coherence. The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The response to the task is incomplete. The essay should provide a more balanced view and address all aspects of the statement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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