IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

This graph illustrates amends in the level of coffee which supplied by Brazil Costa rica and columbia in 2002 and 2012.

This graph illustrates amends in the level of coffee which supplied by Brazil Costa rica and columbia in 2002 and 2012.
This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates amends in the level of coffee supplied by
Brazil
Use synonyms
Costa
Use synonyms
Rica
Use synonyms
 and
Columbia
Use synonyms
 in 2002 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
 it seems that
Change the capitalization
Columbia
show examples
columbia
Use synonyms
 fluctuated throughout the timeframe with
costa
Use synonyms
rica
Use synonyms
. At the same
time
Add a comma
,time
show examples
 there weren't any unexpected changes in
brazil
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 each country
shown
Add the auxiliary verb
showed
has shown
show examples
 a similar increase in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. And
in
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
 it was predicted that
Columbia
Use synonyms
 would have the lowest point with the biggest decrease in one
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
brazil
Use synonyms
 reached the highest among the two others and
costa
Use synonyms
rica
Use synonyms
 in the middle respectively. First of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 in 2002
brazil
Use synonyms
 had 13
kg
Use synonyms
 and started to increase steadily each
year
Use synonyms
 with minor changes reaching 25
kg
Use synonyms
 despite that there was
sudden
Add an article
a sudden
show examples
 decline from 2008 to 2010 to 13
kg
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
costa
Use synonyms
rica
Use synonyms
 stood at 15
kg
Use synonyms
 in 2002 and the number of exports declined in 2004 and continued to go down staying under 10
kg
Use synonyms
 in 2005
then
Linking Words
 it shows sustain
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in the
last
Linking Words
 four years getting 5kg more than in 2002.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 In 2002, the number of exports stood at 5
kg
Use synonyms
 in
Columbia
Use synonyms
, after 2004 witnessed
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 rose
peacking
Correct your spelling
peaking
packing
 at 7
then
Linking Words
 in 2006 getting more than 10
kg
Use synonyms
 after it dropped down dramatically in 2008 and Reach a trough of lower than 5
kg
Use synonyms
 despite that The number
then
Linking Words
 rose significantly from 2008 to 2012 to 6 per
year
Use synonyms
 and
Add an article
the
a
show examples
peak of 15
kg
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words brazil, costa, rica, columbia, year, kg with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: