Some people think that museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

#people #museum #places #purpose

It is undeniable that

museums

have become a controversial talk of

contemporary

Add an article

the contemporary

show examples

era. Some individuals argue that to attract

people

to visit

museums

is by

adding

Wrong verb form

add

show examples

several facilities to be more enjoyable.

However

, some

people

reject those notions, they believe that the main purpose of

museums

is educating citizens. I assume that both views can be combined as a unity, which will be elaborated it in

upcoming

Correct article usage

the upcoming

show examples

paragraph. On the one hand, beginning with

former

Correct article usage

the former

show examples

sentence, the prominent point to support it is

museums

have to add a

number

of amenities in order to create convenience when

people

visit a

museum

. Because nowadays a large

number

of individuals assume that a

museum

is an unattractive

places

Change the noun form

place

show examples

Additionally

, a survey

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

conducted by Roman School university reported that the

number

visitors

museums

has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

declined since a decade ago, and many

people

said that

museums

are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

unsuitable places to spend time.

On the other hand

, citizens argue that by visiting

museums

children may learn a lot of lessons, particularly about history.

Moreover

, indeed

museums

are designed to collect

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

Correct quantifier usage

pieces of equipment

show examples

equipment

Change to a plural noun

equipments

show examples

from past

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

which may assist students to learn

regarding

Change preposition

about

show examples

history with relic collections which are remained. In my opinion, the government should take a step to boost the total of

visitors

amuseums

Correct your spelling

museums

. Adding several facilities and or coffee are possible solutions, which can lead

Change preposition

to a

show examples

number

visitors

then

make

people

enjoy when they learn

regarding

Change preposition

about

show examples

history in a

museum

. In conclusion, creating an enjoyable place in a

museum

to make

people

enjoy when learning is pivotal

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it can increase the

number

visitors

and create

visitor's

Change noun form

visitor

show examples

convenience.

Submitted by iamlearner9697 on Thu Mar 16 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Some people think that museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most people take interviews to select a person for a job. What are the other ways? What do you think is the best way to recruit new employees?

Globalization is creating a world of one culture and destroying national identity. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many people today are worried about young children using video games. What problems might these games cause for children and society as a whole? How could these problems be reduced?

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be beneficial to society. Other say the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and give your opinion.