Some people think that museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion.

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It is undeniable that
museums
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have become a controversial talk of
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
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era. Some individuals argue that to attract
people
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to visit
museums
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is by
adding
Wrong verb form
add
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several facilities to be more enjoyable.
However
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, some
people
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reject those notions, they believe that the main purpose of
museums
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is educating citizens. I assume that both views can be combined as a unity, which will be elaborated it in
upcoming
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the upcoming
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paragraph. On the one hand, beginning with
former
Correct article usage
the former
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sentence, the prominent point to support it is
museums
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have to add a
number
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of amenities in order to create convenience when
people
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visit a
museum
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. Because nowadays a large
number
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of individuals assume that a
museum
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is an unattractive
places
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place
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.
Additionally
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, a survey
is
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apply
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conducted by Roman School university reported that the
number
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of
visitors
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to
museums
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has
been
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apply
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declined since a decade ago, and many
people
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said that
museums
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are
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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unsuitable places to spend time.
On the other hand
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, citizens argue that by visiting
museums
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children may learn a lot of lessons, particularly about history.
Moreover
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, indeed
museums
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are designed to collect
many
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much
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Correct quantifier usage
pieces of equipment
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equipment
Change to a plural noun
equipments
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from past
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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which may assist students to learn
regarding
Change preposition
about
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history with relic collections which are remained. In my opinion, the government should take a step to boost the total of
visitors
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to
amuseums
Correct your spelling
museums
. Adding several facilities and or coffee are possible solutions, which can lead
a
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to a
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number
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of
visitors
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then
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make
people
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enjoy when they learn
regarding
Change preposition
about
show examples
history in a
museum
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. In conclusion, creating an enjoyable place in a
museum
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to make
people
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enjoy when learning is pivotal
,
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apply
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because it can increase the
number
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of
visitors
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and create
visitor's
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visitor
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convenience.
Submitted by iamlearner9697 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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