IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while believe that the purpose of museum is to educate Discuss both views and discuss your opinion ?

#people #museum #places #purpose
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Few
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
 is
location
Add an article
the location
a location
show examples
 for enjoying their
time
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others believe
Use synonyms
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
 is
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
 place. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
museums
Add an article
the museums
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 have good
design
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 and modern
architecture
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 get
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
information
Use synonyms
 by visiting
Use synonyms
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
Use synonyms
Add an article
the museum
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museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 just for enjoying their
time
Use synonyms
. it is normal
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because some
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aesthetic
architecture
Use synonyms
 and good
design
Use synonyms
. They come to
Use synonyms
Add an article
the museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
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 just
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 take a picture or appreciate
painting
Correct article usage
a painting
show examples
 or sculpture without
know
Change the verb form
knowing
show examples
 about the background knowledge of it. Like in
art
Correct article usage
an art
show examples
museum
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 come to appreciate the art,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
 young
people
Use synonyms
 have
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 term for
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
show examples
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 to the
museum
Use synonyms
, it
call
Change the verb form
calls
show examples
 “
museum
Use synonyms
 date”. So, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
show examples
 is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 good place for enjoying their
time
Use synonyms
 it is normal, because the
design
Use synonyms
, ambience,
Use synonyms
architecture
Correct word choice
and architecture
show examples
 is aesthetic and
wort
Correct your spelling
worth
show examples
 it to
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 have
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
information
Use synonyms
 about
history
Use synonyms
,
culture
Use synonyms
, and art.
Basic
Correct article usage
The basic
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 is
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
information
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 the important things of
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
. In Yogyakarta, Yogyakarta’s palace
museum
Use synonyms
 keep anything from former king Hamengkubuwono VIII like clothes, weapon, and camera. it
describe
Change the verb form
describes
show examples
 well by Yogyakarta’s palace. So, the visitor
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of
information
Use synonyms
 about
the
Change the word
its
show examples
history
Use synonyms
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 of it. Meanwhile,
Use synonyms
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 of tour
guide
Fix the agreement mistake
guides
show examples
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 the area,
therefore
Linking Words
 easier for visitor
understanding
Change the verb form
to understand
show examples
Use synonyms
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
 and
culture
Use synonyms
 of
Yogayakarta’s
Correct your spelling
Yogyakarta’s
 palace.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who come
show examples
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
Add an article
the museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 for enjoying their
time
Use synonyms
 is good because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
aesthetical
Replace the word
aesthetic
show examples
architecture
Use synonyms
, but the historical and cultural
information
Use synonyms
 is more important. Knowledge about
Use synonyms
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
 and anything
museum
Use synonyms
 is
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 rather the
design
Use synonyms
,
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
 we will get
Use synonyms
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of insight after
finish
Wrong verb form
finishing
show examples
 visiting
Use synonyms
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
.
Submitted by iamlearner9697 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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