Some people think that museum should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while believe that the purpose of museum is to educate Discuss both views and discuss your opinion ?

Few
people
believe that
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
is
location
Add an article
the location
a location
show examples
for enjoying their
time
,
while
others believe
museum
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
is
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
place. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
museums
Add an article
the museums
show examples
have good
design
and modern
architecture
,
also
people
get
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
information
by visiting
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
. On the one hand, some
people
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
Add an article
the museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
just for enjoying their
time
. it is normal
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because some
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aesthetic
architecture
and good
design
. They come to
Add an article
the museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
just
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
take a picture or appreciate
painting
Correct article usage
a painting
show examples
or sculpture without
know
Change the verb form
knowing
show examples
about the background knowledge of it. Like in
art
Correct article usage
an art
show examples
museum
,
people
come to appreciate the art,
furthermore
Add a comma
,furthermore
show examples
young
people
have
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
term for
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
show examples
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
to the
museum
, it
call
Change the verb form
calls
show examples
museum
date”. So, some
people
believe
museum
Add an article
the museum
show examples
is
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
good place for enjoying their
time
it is normal, because the
design
, ambience,
architecture
Correct word choice
and architecture
show examples
is aesthetic and
wort
Correct your spelling
worth
show examples
it to
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
their
time
.
On the other hand
, some
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
have
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
information
about
history
,
culture
, and art.
Basic
Correct article usage
The basic
show examples
of
Add an article
the museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
is
give
Fix the infinitive
to give
show examples
information
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
Correct article usage
a museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
the important things of
history
and
culture
. In Yogyakarta, Yogyakarta’s palace
museum
keep anything from former king Hamengkubuwono VIII like clothes, weapon, and camera. it
describe
Change the verb form
describes
show examples
well by Yogyakarta’s palace. So, the visitor
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of
information
about
the
Change the word
its
show examples
history
and
culture
of it. Meanwhile,
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of tour
guide
Fix the agreement mistake
guides
show examples
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
the area,
therefore
easier for visitor
understanding
Change the verb form
to understand
show examples
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
and
culture
of
Yogayakarta’s
Correct your spelling
Yogyakarta’s
palace.
To conclude
,
people
Correct pronoun usage
who come
show examples
come
Wrong verb form
coming
show examples
to
Add an article
the museum
show examples
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
for enjoying their
time
is good because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
aesthetical
Replace the word
aesthetic
show examples
architecture
, but the historical and cultural
information
is more important. Knowledge about
history
Add an article
the history
show examples
and anything
museum
is
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
rather the
design
,
cause
Correct word choice
because
show examples
we will get
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of insight after
finish
Wrong verb form
finishing
show examples
visiting
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
show examples
.
Submitted by iamlearner9697 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: