People are becoming famous with the help of TV programme and the internet. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

#people #help #tv #programme #internet

The phenomenon of

people

using new technologies

such

as TV and

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

media to get famous has aroused wide concern among various circles.

While

it is clear that

the technological product brings obvious benefits to the

people

who want to spread his name to the world, it is

also

true to say it may bring disadvantages as well. Regarding the benefits, probably the most significant one is that

people

get more opportunities to appear themself. To illustrate, television, computer and mobile phone becomes a part of

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

life

Replace the word

living

show examples

in these days.

Therefore

, they are commonly used as

advertising

Add an article

an advertising

show examples

tool

Fix the agreement mistake

tools

show examples

People

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

get famous easier than before if they have talent in some ways and use those tools properly. Youtuber is

Remove the article

apply

show examples

concrete evidence of proofing how easy for

people

to get famous. Despite the aforementioned benefit, those technologies

also

have some drawbacks for those

people

. Of all the disadvantages, probably the first pop-up in my mind is that the bad news spread quickly.

For instance

, as an idol in a world that

full

Add a missing verb

is full

show examples

of mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

. Your movements are being

watch

Change the form of the verb

watched

show examples

by the public. Most of your life will be uploaded to the internet by others.

Hence

, if your personal behaviours are not good enough for everyone

such

as smoking, you can

assumes

Change the verb form

assume

show examples

that everyone would know that within a day, even

Correct word choice

if it

show examples

is just a

rumor

Change the spelling

rumour

show examples

Although

you may think that you can claim that it is fake news through the

society

Replace the word

social

show examples

media, the damagers

already done

Add the auxiliary verb

did

are already done

have already done

were already done

show examples

meight

Correct your spelling

might

not able to remove

completely

Correct pronoun usage

it completely

show examples

. Under

this

line of thinking, using

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new technologies to get more popular

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

both its advantages and disadvantages.

Submitted by frankyimp on Fri Mar 17 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People are becoming famous with the help of TV programme and the internet. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

Some commentators feel that grandparents should live together with their children and grandchildren, while others say that elderly people should be encouraged to live independently. Consider the possible arguments on both sides of this debate, and reach your own conclusion.

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Poor nutrition and obesity is a problem in many developed countries and some people believe that a tax on fast food would reduce the problem. Do you agree?

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?