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Band 4

Some people say that olympic games do not have any role to play in society. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #olympic #games #role #society
In
this
 era
og
Correct your spelling
of
 globalisation, some individuals believe that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not contribute
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the community as a whole. From my personal point of view, I disagree with the aforementioned statement because
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
 increase tourism
as well as
 boost
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 and act as a source for
talented
Add an article
a talented
show examples
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
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 to earn money and fame.
This
essya
Correct your spelling
essay
 will
further
 elaborate my view, and
thus
 will
elad
Correct your spelling
lead
 to a logical conclusion. Supporting my agreement
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the given statement, I firmly believe that
Olympic
 tournaments give opportunities for talented candidates to gain fame and financial support. Since there are many institutions investing their money in
this
 competition, it gives
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
show examples
 to the
participates
Replace the word
participants
show examples
.
For instance
, research has shown that the
Olympic's
Change noun form
Olympic
show examples
 contestants received numerous support from sponsorship
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
such
 as Nike, Adidas and more, which in return
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 them more popular.
Therefore
,
participate
Replace the word
participants
show examples
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to enjoy its benefit to support their life. Explaining another point in favour
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 my agreement is that the implementation of
this
 sports championship increases
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 economic scale. During the Olympics, host countries experience growth in travel and tourism-related spending, since people from across the world are visiting to watch the
games
.
Thus
, it can marginally help contribute to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth.
To conclude
,
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
games
 not just give numerous benefits to the folks but
also
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the country's
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
Therefore
, supporting
this
 tournament is a must to sustain its implementation for future generations.
Submitted by adilah070720 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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