You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. In your letter, include the following information: what kind of business you want to start how much money you need the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money

#business #bank #information #loan #finance #company #money #length #time

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to enquire about obtaining

loan

Add an article

a loan

the loan

show examples

to finance my business.

Firstly

, I would to know what kind of documents l need for getting credit for my new business.

Many

Change preposition

For many

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years I had

practiced

Change the spelling

practised

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area

Add an article

the area

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of cooking. And

finally

Add a comma

,finally

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when I become

chef

Add an article

a chef

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I decided to build my own restaurant. After some

plans

Add a comma

,plans

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I decided to borrow from your bank around 1 million

dollar

Change to a plural noun

dollars

show examples

. It must be the

most large

Change the adjective

largest

show examples

cafeteria in our small city.

That is

one of

biggest

Add an article

the biggest

show examples

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

that I will refund your money.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Fri Mar 17 2023

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

93 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial forecast
cash flow analysis
target market
startup capital
business plan
profitability
repayment schedule
collateral
creditworthiness
entrepreneurial venture
capital expenditure
industry analysis

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