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Band 3

More and more new houses are built with a garden or a balcony. Pluses and Minuses

#houses #garden #balcony #pluses #minuses
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contemporary society,
the
Change preposition
with the
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 development of technology and construction, people tend to live in modern houses with
personal
Add an article
a personal
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 outdoor
place
Change the noun form
places
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 like backyards, gardens and
balcony
Fix the agreement mistake
balconies
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.
Although
 there is an advantage of owning
Correct article usage
a separately
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separately
Change the word
separate
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 area, there are some drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
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 having these amenities. There are a number of significant benefits of the presence of private place or yards
gives
Correct pronoun usage
that gives
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 people numerous opportunities because
if
Correct word choice
apply
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a person has
such
 chances to grow a variety of plants
according to
 their preferences ranging from organic vegetation to aesthetic
beauties
Fix the agreement mistake
beauty
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.
Moreover
, they can use these additional places to build a swimming pool and to exercise
the
Change preposition
in the
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 morning activities. These positive aspects clearly depict the importance of having outdoor space at our disposal. Another major disadvantage is that
,
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apply
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 the houses or villas of officials occupy a large number of places,
as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
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 the proportion of homeless people is increasing.
Furthermore
, having
the
Correct article usage
a
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 pool is not safe because, if there,
children
Add a missing verb
are children
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 or weak individuals are more likely to sink into the water. In conclusion, thoughts that have previously mentioned describe that the positives of having private outdoor spaces clearly eclipse the negatives. I opine that societies should desire
purchasing
Change the verb form
to purchase
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 them for the environmental benefits and comforts that they offer.
Submitted by ayperixudaybergenova on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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