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Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmers (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmers #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
The involving
Correct article usage
Involving
show examples
 high
school
 students
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 unpaid community service is a
part
 of the discussion in a lot of
school
 systems, especially when it is
planned
Add the particle
toplanned
show examples
 be on a permanent basis. In my opinion, it is better to combine approaches – using payment and
unpayment
Correct your spelling
nonpayment
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 of the pupils.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
 one side,
to include
Change the verb form
including
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
charity and other, useful
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
 activities,
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Correct article usage
the school
show examples
 schedule can help students to commit to
this
 area.
However
,
this
 should not be often and not influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the study process.
Also
, there is a possibility
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
lack of
motivation
 to participate because of teenagers
living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 through the most emotional
part
 of their life.
For example
,
student
Add an article
the student
a student
show examples
 may be depressed and forcing him to do unloved activities can aggravate
this
 condition.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another
show examples
side
Add a comma
,side
show examples
 the combination of paid and unpaid can solve
this
 problem. When a person
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 a wage for the work it
raise
Change the verb form
raises
show examples
 his
motivation
 and
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 to keep productivity for a
while
.
Furthermore
 to have
even
Correct article usage
an even
show examples
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
 amount of money let to increase the self-esteem of a teenager and support
desire
Add an article
the desire
a desire
show examples
 to take
part
 in social work. I think
low
Add an article
the low
show examples
motivation
 to perform
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the unpaid
part
 will be compensated by the paid
part
.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will
sure
Add a missing verb
be sure
show examples
 that they got many for the date
in any case
Add the comma(s)
, in any case,
show examples
this
 week for improving a
neighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood
show examples
, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 need to participate in a charity.
Take
Wrong verb form
Taking
show examples
 into account
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
 of people in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high
school
 and the role of money in
motivation
 I think, unpaid community service could be a compulsory
part
 of high
school
programmers
Replace the word
programming
show examples
. And more and more schools implement
this
 approach in my country.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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