Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very less about famous people from the history in their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history?

#people #pop #movie #stars #history #country #interest #gain

It is undeniable that modern

people

know about public figures from

music

Correct article usage

the music

show examples

or film industries. Unfortunately, they are not likely to recognize famous

people

in their history.

This

essay will discuss the causes of

this

phenomenon and I will explain a solution for

this

To begin

with, there are several reasons why many international stars are easily introduced to the young. First and foremost, most famous

people

are always on the mass media, ranging from

block-buster

Correct your spelling

blockbuster

show examples

movies, pop music shows, and live performances. Undoubtedly, they are known by teenagers worldwide. In Thailand,

For example

, Talor Swift has been

regared

Correct your spelling

regarded

as one the best singers by Thai audiences,

that is

to say, why international media are so influential to

fanclubs

Correct your spelling

fan clubs

thoughout

Correct your spelling

throughout

the globe. Another

reasons

Replace the adjective

reason

show examples

is that most famous individuals in the past are not

relavant

Correct your spelling

relevant

to modern

people

any longer, which leads to less recognizable awareness

Change preposition

among

show examples

today's teenagers. To resolve

this

issue, certain activities should be held to promote the value of the late

well-know

Correct your spelling

well-known

show examples

people

. In my hometown,

for instance

, a 'King Narai festival' is held

Change preposition

show examples

February annually, which provides a

myraid

Correct your spelling

myriad

of activities to emphasize the

importances

Fix the agreement mistake

importance

show examples

and achievements of the late king.

Besides

, participants are asked to wear traditional clothes,

therefore

, it turns out that

this

event is meaningful and memorable for everyone. In

this

way, it helps the youngsters remember what the king had accomplished for the country over the

last

centuries. In conclusion, it

is believe

Change the verb form

is believed

show examples

that most teenagers know less about their prominent

persons

Replace the word

people

show examples

in the past. It might

because

Add a missing verb

be because

show examples

they find those

people

are not related to them, so they only recognise international stars. To tackle

this

issue, some events can help

people

commemorate

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

important public figures who were

skillful

Change the spelling

skilful

show examples

in the past.

Submitted by keakyenge on Mon Mar 20 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very less about famous people from the history in their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

It is better to learn the way people lived in the past through films and video records than written documents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career,while others belive that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people from rural areas moving to the cities. What problem can this cause? What can be solutions?

Water is a natural resource that should be free. The government should ban the sale of bottled water. To what extent do you agree or disagree?