In spite of many advances, women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace.

#spite #advances #women #education #employment #promotion #equality #opportunity #men #workplace

The development of technology in the future will be able to make people can read everything online without paying

than

Change preposition

show examples

buy

printed

Add an article

a printed

the printed

show examples

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

show examples

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

. I totally agree with the statement and there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

some points from my view. The main reason is technology can make anything possible, we know that currently every sector starting to change the old tools to

Correct article usage

the

show examples

newest one which is more

update

Replace the word

updated

show examples

. Everyone understand

the

Correct your spelling

that

show examples

community habit was changing, they need

everthing

Correct your spelling

everything

easiest for them than before so the government, the

enterpreuneur

Correct your spelling

entrepreneur

entrepreneurs

, and the investor should know

this

sign.

For example

, in the old days we should

bought

Change the verb form

buy

show examples

a food

Remove the article

food

a portion of food

show examples

our self

Correct your spelling

ourselves

show examples

but today we can

using

Change the verb form

use

be using

show examples

Add an article

an app

show examples

app

Fix the agreement mistake

apps

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

gojek, grab, etc. to

ordering

Wrong verb form

order

show examples

food and the driver will

be buy

Change the verb form

be buying

show examples

the food for us in the restaurant.

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand, we should take attention

for

Change preposition

show examples

global

Correct article usage

the global

show examples

warming issue. We know that our earth is not the same again, it is because we are consuming too much from

earth

Add an article

the earth

show examples

like a tree, water, etc. I think it will be better if we

are publish

Change the verb form

publish

show examples

newspaper

Fix the agreement mistake

newspapers

show examples

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

online because it can reduce

number

Change the article

the number

show examples

of tree

consumtion

Correct your spelling

consumption

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

paper based

Add a hyphen

paper-based

show examples

. The other good

things

Fix the agreement mistake

thing

show examples

that we can achieve is we can read

newpaper

Correct your spelling

newspaper

book

Fix the agreement mistake

books

show examples

everwhere

Correct your spelling

everywhere

show examples

and we don't need to take lots of effort to do that. In

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, we will

be have

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a good impact if we can

implementation

Replace the word

implement

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology like a newspaper or

book

online.

First,

we can change our

habit

Fix the agreement mistake

habits

show examples

and make everything more easiest for us and we can help our earth to

recovery

Replace the word

recover

show examples

Submitted by oktaviaindahr.work on Mon Mar 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Improve your IELTS writing skills today

Unlimited Writing Checks: Practice and perfect your skills.
Detailed Error Analysis: Spot every mistake.
In-Built Grammar Checker: Say no to grammatical errors.
Personalized Suggestions: Know how to boost your score.
Progress Tracking: View your checked writing history.
Still thinking? We have a 14-day money-back guarantee. Take a leap of faith!

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Today high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold. To extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, a big number of commercials of popular consumer products describe the advertising power instead of the actual needs of the people in which they are sold. I strongly agree with this context, it is caused by several reasons.
4
band
some people say history is one of the most important school subject. other people think that, in today's world, subject like scince and technology are more important than history. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Nowadays, some society think history dicipline is being one of the best important school major. Other people believe that science and technology give more impact than history. Maybe some parents tend to adapt with the globalization so they choose the science and technology to their youth.
7
band
One of the major problems that face today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory houses for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.
In the modern world, the population is growing at a fast pace, and it becomes a challenge that governments are facing which leads to a scarcity of space to build houses. The authorities should provide adequate houses while also preserving the environment. In my view, I believe that the ministry that constructs green buildings acceptable to society is a great strategy.
5.5
band
To some people, studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not taught history?
Nowadays, it's undeniable that subjects with more weightage on Technology and Maths are more preferred on the curriculum than conventional subjects like history. While some people support this trend as a means to survive modernization and shift in the economy, I argue why subject like a history is important and what would be its impact if it is completely taken off the syllabus.
5
band
Write about the following topic: Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many authorities take economic developments, as the most vital objective, whereas, some individuals believe in progress of other kinds as equally important for a nation. While economic activity is important for any country to develop, however, I think progress in other fields cannot be ignored and a balanced approach is required for sustainable development.

In spite of many advances, women have made in education and employment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. In your view, what should be done to promote equality of opportunity for men and women in the workplace.

Fully explain your ideas

Today high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold. To extent do you agree or disagree?

some people say history is one of the most important school subject. other people think that, in today's world, subject like scince and technology are more important than history. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

One of the major problems that face today’s governments is creating enough satisfactory houses for their increasing populations whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion.

To some people, studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it is important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not taught history?