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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The money spent by hovernments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree .

#money #hovernments #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
There are some who believe that
,
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apply
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the financial
support
 from the
government
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 astronomical
technology
 should be diverted to basic needs
such
 as health and education. I am
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the view that it is worth
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
such
 funding for aerospace
research
 and
this
 will be beneficial for humanity.
The
Correct article usage
Government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
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support
 for space programmes is giving valuable information to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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mankind,
such
 as weather forecasting, telecommunications and navigation systems.
As a result
, human life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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earth is more eased and developed by every
norms
Change to a singular noun
norm
show examples
 of
technology
.
In addition
 to
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
this
technology
 gives
profound
Correct article usage
a profound
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 contribution
for
Change preposition
to
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 distance education
,
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apply
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so that students in remote areas are getting educated.
Furthermore
, financial help to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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areospace
Correct your spelling
aerospace
 innovation will help the nation to proclaim its goodwill in
international
Add an article
the international
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 community and can attain
a good business deals
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good business deal
good business deals
show examples
. They are orbiting satellites of other nations and sharing navigation
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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,
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apply
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so that they earn money and attract professionals from all other parts of
Add an article
the word
a word
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word
Correct your spelling
world
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.
This
 can Create a good international relationship and academic development in the young generation
In addition
 to that, the infrastructure and technologies which
using
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used
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 in the experiments of
areospece
Correct your spelling
aerospace
research
 will be a great contribution
for
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to
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 the development. The sophisticated
mechineries
Correct your spelling
machineries
 and procedures taking place in
research
 centres are finding out
a solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a solution
solutions
show examples
 for various health concerns and scientific stigmas.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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mechanical ventilators in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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hospitals are
firstly
Change the word
first
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 used in Apollo 2 , where man
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
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 to the moon.
overall
 funding for
these innovation
Change the determiner
this innovation
these innovations
show examples
 will be worth
to
Correct pronoun usage
it to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
in
Change preposition
around
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 the globe
To sum up
, the
support
 which giving for space
research
 by
government
Add an article
the government
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 is beneficial for humanity by the means of
ease
Wrong verb form
easing
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
in
Change preposition
on
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 earth,
to earn
Change the verb form
earning
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 business and
produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
 more technologies for other areas of science. So the
government
 should continue to
support
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
technology
 and prompt them to do more
research
.
Submitted by geokavalackal on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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