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Some young adults want independence from their parents as soon as possible. Other young adults prefer to live with their families for a longer time. Which of these situations do you think is better?

#adults #independence #parents #families #time #situations
Most parents in the world want to keep their children in their household as long as possible. Personally, I believe that moving out as early as possible in order to achieve
independence
 is better. There are several reasons why I feel
this
 way, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin
 with, living by yourself means that you are responsible for your own
life
.
This
 experience causes the
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 of growing up, which leads ultimately to
independence
.
That is
 desirable in my opinion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because you can do things without asking for permission. My personal experience is a compelling example of
this
. Just when I turned 18, I had the
privelage
Correct your spelling
privilege
 to move out straight away. Of course, I was not in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 position where taking care of my own
life
 was an easy thing to do. But because I was forced to
mange
Correct your spelling
manage
show examples
 my own household and
responsabilities
Correct your spelling
responsibilities
, I developed
independence
.
This
 achieved
independence
 is highly
desireable
Correct your spelling
desirable
 in my opinion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because now you are one step closer to
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 an adult.
Moreover
, once you gained
independence
, the quality of
life
 becomes so much higher. Of course,
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 of living and the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of groceries in the fridge drop drastically. But
this
 sacrifice is nothing compared to the freedom you receive
as a result
. You can do whatever you like, whenever you like and
this
 is something that no one wants to give back.
This
 is a
phenomenom
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
 I realised on a family vacation, which took place one year after I moved out. Since
then
 I value
independence
 very
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
. As soon as you spend time with your parents, there are
constantly
Change the adverb
constant
show examples
 debates about everything. Simple decisions that you normally just make, are
dicussed
Correct your spelling
discussed
 for twenty minutes. I enjoyed the vacation a lot but after two weeks I was glad to be home again, just by myself. In
conlcusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I strongly feel that
independence
 is something you should seek as early as possible.
This
 is because you become an adult quicker and the quality of
life
 improves dramatically.
Submitted by Anonym on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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