IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows how the UK unemployed spent their time last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 schedule shows some information about how unemployed people in England spent their
time
Use synonyms
last
Linking Words
 year, for women and
men
Use synonyms
 in the morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
periods
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
housework
Correct article usage
the housework
show examples
 percentage was higher in females than in males for both morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
periods
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 spent their
time
Use synonyms
 more in job hunting in the morning, 22. But women tend to spend their
time
Use synonyms
 mostly
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping for both
periods
Use synonyms
, 26 and 17. Meanwhile, the gardening job relied on
men
Use synonyms
 the most in the morning and
afternoon
Use synonyms
periods
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, males and females seem to be sitting around and doing nothing during the morning
as well as
Linking Words
 staying in bed was the same percentage, 8.
Overall
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
 tend to work less during the morning period,
therefore
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most work
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 during the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 period. But
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unemployed women,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
spend their
time
Use synonyms
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
in the morning
time
Use synonyms
 and less in the
afternoon
Use synonyms
 period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, men, afternoon, periods with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: