The plans below show the layout of a public park in 1990 and in 2020.

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The plan illustrates changes which happened in a public park in the gap between 1990 and 2020
Overall
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,there are plenty of buildings which appeared in 2020.In the first ,plan there were basic places which
can
Wrong verb form
could
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be located in the park.
However
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, with the development of modern technologies,the park in 2020 notably changed by new additions.
Firstly
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,in 1990 the entrance was among a phone booth and shops.In front of it was a Buddha statue which was in the centre.The West side had a playground for outsprings.Above it was a Krishna temple, located in the corner.The neighbour of it was a flower garden which took a huge place.In the East corner was a toilet.
On the other hand
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,opposite to it was located a Koi pond.
Secondly
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,that can be seen easily that the entrance changed his location.In 2020 it was on the East side.At that time its neighbours were a Koi pond,which didn't change his place and a new museum which replaced a toilet.Next to the museum was a stage for programs which was
also
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a new structure.
However
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,
besides
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this
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was a previous garden,but smaller.Other buildings on the West side didn't change, except for a toilet which moved to the West South corner.In front of it appeared a new building,which is a cafe.Next to it is
also
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a new shop.The Buddha statue stayed in the same spot.

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task response
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed to provide a clearer overview of the changes in the park.
coherence and cohesion
The essay contains a mix of present and past tense which affects the logical structure of the sentences. The use of transition words and a clearer organization of ideas is needed to improve coherence and cohesion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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