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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that education in certain countries do not cater to the economic needs of society. What are the drawbacks of this education system and the mention some solutions.

#people #education #countries #society #system #mention
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Education
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 is considered the reason
of
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for
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 success,
while
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 some people believe that
education
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 cannot improve financial conditions.
This
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 essay will examine possible drawbacks, and provide certain solutions.
To begin
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 with, poor financial conditions depend on common situations in the
meager
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meagre
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education
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system
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.
Firstly
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, it depends
to
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on
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 the teachers, and
also
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teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
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 methods.
For example
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, in some countries
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the wage
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wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
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 of teachers are not well provided.
That is
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 why,
this
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 cause might be a decrease
of
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in
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 their enthusiasm
to
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for
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 the lesson.
Secondly
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, it relates to the quality of
education
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 curriculums. Nowadays, technology
,
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apply
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 and
the
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apply
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new educational results are rapidly increasing around the world,
while
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 some nations still remained
to
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in
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backward
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the backward
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Use synonyms
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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, because of
this
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, numerous gadgets, and the source of knowledge require a lot of money,
for
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and for
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 that, they cannot afford
of
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apply
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new technological features. As I mentioned above, the quality of
education
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, namely, relates to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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finance.
On the other hand
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, there are enough possible ways, that we can tackle it.
Firstly
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, the government should invest in educational infrastructure to create access
for
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to
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global
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the global
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 network
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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.
This
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 is because, currently many individuals easily get mundane knowledge by using the internet, and they are started their
career
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careers
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on
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in
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 lucrative online occupations,
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 coding, web
designer
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design
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, and many more.
In addition
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,
establish
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establishing
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 a national fund to supply resources for students and schools will be better creatures for
economic
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the economic
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 needs of society. In conclusion, the
education
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system
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 certainly has drawbacks, but I believe that
benefits
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the benefits
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 outweigh them in the long term.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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