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Band 1

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #someone #job #age #development
Dear Ted, Thank you for your message. It is nice to hear from you again! I’m sorry that I haven’t answered earlier because I was busy with my studies. In your
e-mail
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e-mail,
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 you asked me about
camp’s
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camps
camp
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 in Russia. Yes, there are a lot of kinds of youth
camp’s
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camp
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 like:
sport
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sports
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camp’s
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camps
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, language
camp’s
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camps
camp
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 and others. I guess, yes,
camp’s
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camps
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 are popular with kids because it’s an opportunity to make friends and improve
kids
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kids'
kid's
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 skills. Yes, I have been in the summer camp and I attitude to
this
 well. In your
message
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message,
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 you told me about your elder brother. What university was he
entered
Wrong verb form
entering
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? Where the university is located ? What specialization will he choose ? Anyway, I have to go now. My mum asked me to help her with dinner. Keep in touch. Best wishes, Seda
Submitted by dulskywork on

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overall
Improve the organization of the essay by developing a clearer introduction and conclusion. Use linking words and transitions to improve coherence and cohesion. For task achievement, focus on providing a more complete response with clearer and more relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • age discrimination
  • inclusive workplace
  • workplace diversity
  • workforce experience
  • equality in hiring
  • age-related stereotypes
  • demographic changes
  • economic growth
  • social security systems
  • consumer spending
  • non-discriminatory policies
  • bias
  • fair practices
  • retirement age
  • intergenerational collaboration
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