The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013

The pie charts illustrate the retail online

sales

in New Zealand from 2003 to 2013.

Overall

, there are gradual changes in the four products sold, and it is not only an upward trend but

also

a downward trend. Looking at the information in more detail, we can see that in 2003, the travel sector sold the product at 36%, and it was highest than the other items.

However

, the selling showed a gradual decrease of 7% in 2013. The opposite trend showed by film/music, it was only selling at 21% at the first of the period, but the

sales

increased moderately by almost 50% in the next decade. In the Books items, their

sales

accounted for 19% selling in 2003, and they were a slight rise to 22% in 2012. It was different compared with clothes in which they're selling their product almost one-fourth at the beginning period, but the

sales

dropped slightly approximately 16% in the

last

period.

Submitted by salwafahanim on Fri Mar 24 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

159 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Comparative analysis
E-commerce
Retail sectors
Growth rate
Decade
Decline
Trends
Online transactions
Consumer behavior
Market share
Significant increase/decrease
Digital era
Accessibility
User-friendly platform
Market dynamics
Predictive outlook

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The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information and technology. To what extend do you agree?

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.