IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls In the UK, divided into three categories, from 1999&2012.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls In the UK, divided into three categories, from 1999&2012.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
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The bar charts
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 information about consuming phone calls per
Use synonyms
minutes
Fix the agreement mistake
minute
show examples
 in England.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 there are three
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of
outline
Fix the agreement mistake
outlines
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in
Change preposition
over
show examples
period
Add an article
a period
the period
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 of seven
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
local-fixed
Correct article usage
the local-fixed
show examples
 line ranked first in 1996.
However
Linking Words
, mobiles stood
last
Linking Words
 in the first year. The chart saw a fluctuation during those
years
Use synonyms
. At
first,
Linking Words
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
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 rose gradually from 1995 to 1998. Since 1996 it saw a sharp growth which is followed by
peak
Add an article
a peak
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 at approximately 45
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 2002. Between 1995 and 1998,
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 and international-fixed
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 saw
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steady growth.
However
Linking Words
, in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 two
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 they witnessed a plateau. In 2002, they stood at 60
minutes
Use synonyms
 before that, it increased gradually.
During
Change preposition
From
show examples
 1995 to 1998, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
moderate growth.
However
Linking Words
,
locals-fixed
Add an article
the locals-fixed
show examples
 line reached a high of 90
minutes
Use synonyms
. Sadly, they had a slight drop in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 three
years
Use synonyms
 ahead.
Submitted by mahsa_shafie1996 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
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