Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

From the first day of birth
people
’s lives start with meeting with relatives. We can’t even understand what is happening around us, but we are able to feel comfort and love from
family
Add an article
a family
show examples
with their activity. Some scientists explain
this
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
hormonal
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
show examples
and others
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
natural feelings between relatives.
However
, after a close relationship with our
families
Add a comma
,families
show examples
we start to explore
this
world just by ourselves.
Firstly
, children come to kindergarten, study at school and
as a result
meet their peers and other
people
. So, the comfort zone changes with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
and new feelings. The first cause of non-close relationships with families might be the essential desire of having independence. It is an ordinary situation in kindergarten or in primary school when your mother or dad help with simple things like preparing clothes, putting the right books in the bag and making some food for lunch,
whereas
in secondary school or
higher
Add a comma
,higher
show examples
you should be able to do
this
without parent’s help or with minor help. These conditions can be created by friends, who already do a lot of important thighs without help. In that case, many children start thinking
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the other way, and when they realize that independence really exists they don’t need that deep connection with family anymore. The second cause of non-close relationships with families is the era of digital life.
For example
, we don't need offline communication, we have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
possibility to make a phone call with or without video
instead
of wasting
time
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
traffic
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when we don’t live in the same place with family.
This
situation
also
makes them a little lazy and
as a result
people
just don’t see the necessity of extra
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
with family. So,
people
just continue to live their
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
and focus on themselves.
This
problem can be solved if
people
start to manage their
time
and try to find a couple of hours in a week for spending
time
with family in advance.
Also
, they can include different activities or meetings in cafes for brunch that can help to spend
time
together more interestingly, properly and with profit for each member of the family.
Submitted by nikolettliny on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: