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Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays families are not as close as they used to be. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to make families closer?

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From the first day of birth
people
Use synonyms
’s lives start with meeting with relatives. We can’t even understand what is happening around us, but we are able to feel comfort and love from
family
Add an article
a family
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 with their activity. Some scientists explain
this
Linking Words
like
Change preposition
as
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 hormonal
reaction
Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
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 and others
like
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as
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 natural feelings between relatives.
However
Linking Words
, after a close relationship with our
families
Add a comma
,families
show examples
 we start to explore
this
Linking Words
 world just by ourselves.
Firstly
Linking Words
, children come to kindergarten, study at school and
as a result
Linking Words
 meet their peers and other
people
Use synonyms
. So, the comfort zone changes with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 and new feelings. The first cause of non-close relationships with families might be the essential desire of having independence. It is an ordinary situation in kindergarten or in primary school when your mother or dad help with simple things like preparing clothes, putting the right books in the bag and making some food for lunch,
whereas
Linking Words
 in secondary school or
higher
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,higher
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 you should be able to do
this
Linking Words
 without parent’s help or with minor help. These conditions can be created by friends, who already do a lot of important thighs without help. In that case, many children start thinking
in
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apply
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the other way, and when they realize that independence really exists they don’t need that deep connection with family anymore. The second cause of non-close relationships with families is the era of digital life.
For example
Linking Words
, we don't need offline communication, we have
a
Correct article usage
the
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 possibility to make a phone call with or without video
instead
Linking Words
 of wasting
time
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for
Change preposition
in
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 traffic
,
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apply
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 when we don’t live in the same place with family.
This
Linking Words
 situation
also
Linking Words
 makes them a little lazy and
as a result
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 just don’t see the necessity of extra
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
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 with family. So,
people
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 just continue to live their
life
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lives
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 and focus on themselves.
This
Linking Words
 problem can be solved if
people
Use synonyms
 start to manage their
time
Use synonyms
 and try to find a couple of hours in a week for spending
time
Use synonyms
 with family in advance.
Also
Linking Words
, they can include different activities or meetings in cafes for brunch that can help to spend
time
Use synonyms
 together more interestingly, properly and with profit for each member of the family.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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