IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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In 1995,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 half the
population
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 of Australians who were born in Australia lived in
cities
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. Around twenty
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 lived in towns whilst the remaining
population
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 lives in rural
areas
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. In 2010,
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
population
Use synonyms
 amongst native Australians increased as their percentage in
cities
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 rose from fifty
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to almost
sixty five
Add a hyphen
sixty-five
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Native Australian
population
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 in both rural
areas
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 and towns saw a significant drop to around eighteen
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 each. Now,we will summarise the changes in
population
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 for the people born outside Australia.
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of the foreigners lived in
cities
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 in 1995 and the minority was spread in towns and rural
areas
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.
This
Linking Words
 was the case in 2010 as well but there was a change in percentages of populations in rural
areas
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 and
cities
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. It can be seen that
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 in rural
areas
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 in 2010 decreased as compared to 1995.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the
population
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 in
cities
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 increased in 2010 as compared to 1995.
Submitted by muazimran8 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, cities, percent, areas with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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