IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some parents think that childcare centre's provide the best services for children of pre-school age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better to care for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#parents #childcare #centre #services #children #age #members #grandparents #care #kids
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It is a matter of great concern for working
parents
Use synonyms
 who will take
care
Use synonyms
 of their beloved kids when they are at
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
. Some
parents
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 feel that daycare centre supply better
care
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while
Linking Words
 others think that close relatives are the best choice to look after
children
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.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both points of view and argue that family
members
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 are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
preferable carers for youngsters, followed by a reasoned conclusion. Many
parents
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 leave their
children
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to
Change preposition
at
show examples
daycarecare
Correct your spelling
daycare care
 centres for the time they stay at
work
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 maybe because lacking
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
trustable family
members
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 or they think that
care
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 service providers are qualified, they will take
care
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
 the better way in all aspects,
for instance
Linking Words
,- they will take the vital role to intake
children
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 proper nutrition, they will inspire
children
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 to play meaningful games. Above is the reason why many working
parents
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 keep their kids in
a childcare centres
Correct the article-noun agreement
childcare centres
a childcare centre
show examples
. Keeping
children
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 with family
members
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such
Linking Words
 as grandparents, and sibling is the most reliable option for working
parents
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.
This
Linking Words
 is because of trust issues, as
parents
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 feel their child will be safer with someone from within the family
members
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. As an illustration,
Personally
Add a comma
,Personally
show examples
 I am an example of keeping my
children
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 with my
parents
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. I feel less concerned about my son when I am at the office as I know my mother brings up my son the same way they did me.
This
Linking Words
 is clear evidence that
parents
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 feel much more peaceful at
work
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 if their youngster is taken
care
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 of by the nearest family member. In conclusion,- During working hours
parents
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 stay unsettled and can't concentrate on
work
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 if they feel their kids are not taken
care
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properly
Change preposition
of properly
show examples
 . Some
parents
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 feel prefer to keep their
children
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 in childcare
whereas
Linking Words
 others like to bring up
children
Use synonyms
 by a family person
while
Linking Words
 they are at
work
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
Parents
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 should keep
children
Use synonyms
 with close family
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 as they do take
care
Use synonyms
 better than daycare
care
Use synonyms
 centres.
Submitted by dk057091 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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