IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

level of youth crime is increasing day by day aroun the world. Give some reasons and some sollutions to stop it.

#level #youth #crime #aroun #world #sollutions
It is an unfortunate fact that the number of young criminals is increasing globally. These can be caused by economic, family, or social aspects and some solutions to handle it includes
education
, law enforcement, and social support. I will
further
 elaborate
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the root problems and solutions to
this
 phenomenon.
To begin
 with,
although
 not all, young offenders mostly come from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
broken
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
Teenagers
 whose parents are divorced do not have a good figure to hold on
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 These youngsters spend more time in the streets and become out of control,
thus
 easier for them to commit
a petty
Correct the article-noun agreement
petty crimes
a petty crime
show examples
crimes
. Another common cause of these young people committing
crimes
 would be
economic
Add an article
the economic
an economic
show examples
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
. Stealing and shoplifting are examples of
crimes
 that are frequently done by them.
Teenagers
 are still emotionally immature, so they are easy to be
provocated
Correct your spelling
provocative
 and involved in a fight. There are some solutions to
this
 matter. The First and most important is
education
. The youth should be taught about law and justice
as well as
 the consequences that arise from bad behaviour.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 should be encouraged to focus on their future and reach their dream. Educated young people will rarely commit petty
crimes
. The government has a pivotal role in reducing the number of youth
crimes
 by ensuring social support and providing food, shelter, and formal
education
 for children and
teenagers
 who live without parents or close family. In conclusion, the increasing number of youth
crimes
 is a serious problem around the world that can arise
as a result
 of economic or social problems.
Education
 should be guaranteed for all
teenagers
 and children as it is one of the main solution to
this
 problem
along with
 the government's responsibility to make sure that every young people in their country are living properly.
Submitted by irarahmawati.polkesma on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: