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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words.
#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts illustrate the percentage that adults who
work
Use synonyms
 spend on different activities in a country in 1958 and 2008. At first glance, it can clearly be seen that most workers in 1958 and 2008 spend their
time
Use synonyms
 working,
while
Linking Words
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 people spend
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling to
work
Use synonyms
 during 1958 and 2008. First of all, the highest percentage in 1958 was working, reaching exactly 33%. After that, 32% of the individuals spend their day sleeping which was significantly higher than going out with friends and family by approximately 12%.
According to
Linking Words
 the least three percentages, they were relaxing at home, other interests or playing sports and travelling to
work
Use synonyms
 as they stood at 8%, 6% and 2%, respectively. By far, 42% of humans tend to
work
Use synonyms
 during their day in 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, spending
time
Use synonyms
 sleeping reached 25%.
Then
Linking Words
, 13% of the working individuals, which was an average ratio, spend their
time
Use synonyms
 relaxing at home. Surprisingly, the percentage of
time
Use synonyms
 spent per day doing other interests or playing sports and travelling to
work
Use synonyms
 had the same number which was 8%.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, 6% of the
time
Use synonyms
 was spent
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going out with friends and family.
Submitted by malak.ayman1 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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