Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #activities #children’s #development #computer #games

there is a current debate surrounding whether partaking in outdoor

activities

is more advantageous for

children

than playing digital

games

. personally, I hold the belief that open-air

activities

are totally beneficial for

children

's development

while

playing

games

has a detrimental impact on them. on the one hand, those who advocate the tendency of

children

in participating

Change preposition

to participate

show examples

in outside

activities

may point out its benefits for their mental and physical health.

firstly

, youngsters have a chance to immerse themselves in nature and get involved in many fun experiences, which can help them to release the stress and pressure in their daily lives.

consequently

children

are likely to have an optimistic view towards their lives

due to

these valuable

activities

furthermore

, youngsters' physical prowess can be improved significantly when they spend more time taking part in sports

activities

. only in that way, can they strengthen their muscles and burn a huge number of calories that assist them to maintain their well-being.

on the other hand

, certain negative impacts of playing

games

need to be taken into consideration. it is true that after long-term exposure,

children

can be easily addicted to online

games

Capitalize word

show examples

a result, they can not focus on anything, which is likely to result in lower productivity in studying.

moreover

, serious diseases can be caused because of the involvement in computer

games

that may be irreversible.

for example

, in

viet nam

Correct your spelling

Vietnam

, the number of obese

children

has significantly increased since 2019 thanks to the availability of digital

games

. in conclusion, I strongly believe that outdoor

activities

are much better than computer

games

due to

their potential advantages.

therefore

, it is advisable for parents and teachers to encourage

children

to take part in more open-air

activities

that are positive for both their mental and physical prowess.

Submitted by bobong120906 on Sun Mar 26 2023

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Fully address all aspects of the task, providing clear ideas and relevant examples to support the viewpoint.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Physical development
Overall health
Coordination
Foster
Social skills
Teamwork
Mental well-being
Creativity
Exploration
Strategic thinking
Problem-solving
Hand-eye coordination
Sedentary lifestyles
Social isolation
Moderation
Balanced approach
Detract
Obesity
Poor posture

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Some people think that outdoor activities are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. What could be the advantages and disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that children who spend a lot of time reading children’s story book are wasting their time which could be better used doing other more useful activities. To what extend do you agree?