The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members across the faculties of a major university in 2012 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the percentage of male and female academic staff members  across the faculties of a major university in 2012

summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar chart illustrates the percentage of academic
staff
Use synonyms
with different genders among
variation
Fix the agreement mistake
variations
show examples
of majors in 2012. X-axis represents different faculties of departments, Y-axis reveals percentages of academic
staff
Use synonyms
according
Add the preposition
toaccording
show examples
their gender. There were
totally
Replace the word
total
show examples
7 different majors available for academic
staff
Use synonyms
in 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
most
Add an article
the most
a most
show examples
male dominant major was Engineering approximately %82,
nevertheless
Linking Words
the second major gender gap between male and female academic
staff
Use synonyms
related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Education major. The most gender-equal faculty was Medicine,
therefore
Linking Words
the gap between
staff
Use synonyms
was less than %5.
According to
Linking Words
Arts and Education majors, female university personals were significantly higher as %75 and %55 respectively. Business, Law and Science departments
relatively
Add a missing verb
are relatively
show examples
similar to each other the gap between gender was around %20 and males represented to higher population. The least percentage
holded
Correct your spelling
held
show examples
by female
personals
Replace the word
personnel
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
Engineering
Correct article usage
the Engineering
show examples
Department. It is true that
Faculty
Correct article usage
the Faculty
show examples
of Medicine contained slightly higher percentages of female university
staff
Use synonyms
in 2012 around %52.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words staff with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: