IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

These days many families move abrod for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Other believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#families #move #abrod #work #people #children #lives
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the advent of globalization in the 21st century, the masses are migrating abroad
along with
Linking Words
 their families.
While
Linking Words
 a fair amount of people think that it gives a good lifestyle, quality of education, and well-being, others believe that there are inevitable drawbacks. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will enlighten both sides of the coin and give my point of view eventually. living in under-developed countries
Linking Words
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
show examples
 particular, is a big challenge,
thus
Linking Words
 naturally the desire comes up to enjoy a better lifestyle. There are masses who intend to shift abroad with families to provide them with secure living standards, better education, developed infrastructure, and physical and mental well-being.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, living abroad will open good career opportunities with high pay scales, which support you in upgrading your financial status.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, undoubtedly there are challenges people have to face when they reach a new country. Relocation surely takes time and life remains in a difficult state in
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 initial couple of years. To illustrate
further
Linking Words
, getting a new job is mostly a hard target sometime new migrants to experience.
Consequently
Linking Words
, there is a mental pressure they have to bear and struggle for survival until they succeed.
Besides
Linking Words
, children take time to accommodate in a new school and make new friends.
Therefore
Linking Words
, knowing
such
Linking Words
 issues many families avoid moving to another country.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are obstacles most new immigrants have to face, I ascertain the long-term benefits weigh them. In saying that, people should be well-planned in terms of having sufficient funds for survival
initially
Linking Words
, and demanding experience and qualification to expedite getting a job in a shorter time.
Submitted by farazahmed2010 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: