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The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
#bar #percentage #australian #men #women #age #groups #activity
A glance at the bar chart provided reveals
how
Correct word choice
that
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percentage
Add an article
the percentage
a percentage
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 of Australian
in
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of
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 both
gender
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genders
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 had
a
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apply
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routine physical exercise in 2010.One of the interesting
point
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points
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that is
 highlighted by the figure is that the number of
female
Change to a plural noun
females
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 who did typical
activities
 in all year groups, except
on
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one
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 group
were
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was
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 bigger than male.
According to
 the bar chart the biggest group that had
a
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apply
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routin
Correct your spelling
routine
activities
 was related to men who were between 15 and 24 with 52.8% and men
in
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between
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 the age of 35 to 45 had a less
tendancy
Correct your spelling
tendency
 to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 routine
activities
 with 39.5% in
this
 year.
On the other hand
,women who were between 45-54 and 55-64 were interested in doing regular
activities
 with 53.3% and 53 % respectively. As it is clear,the percentage of
female
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females
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 and
male
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males
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 with 65 years and over had
a
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apply
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striking similarities in their trends with 47.1% in
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and 46.7% in men.
Submitted by marzieh.kiani on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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