IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

These days many families move abroad for work. Some people believe that this benefits the children in these families. Others believe that it makes their lives more difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#families #move #work #people #children #lives
It is argued that the family who
move
Change the verb form
moves
show examples
 abroad for
work
 are get up better
work
 opportunities, so that good for
their
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 and for the
children
. I agree
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 that because
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days there are lower jobs either in
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 or
privet
Correct your spelling
private
show examples
 sector. On the one hand, there are many pros for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
.
Firstly
, they
are identify
Change the verb form
identify
show examples
 other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 different
Change preposition
from which
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 they see in
them
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 country. And they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
meet many people from different nationalities. They are learning
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 language. For all those points, the
children
 are acquiring new skills and experiences.
For example
,Arbics families
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
go to
Canda
Correct your spelling
Canada
show examples
. In
this
 case totally different either habits or language. All the family must
be speak
Change the verb form
speak
show examples
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
the foreign
show examples
 language and
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 daily moment.
On the other hand
, the cons
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 family who go abroad for
work
 are the head of the family doesn’t
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 any knowledge
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 face any problems. So, the
children
 can’t live in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
 country. Suhs as, in being if
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 enough money how they can live and the
children
how
Correct your spelling
now
show examples
go
Add the particle
to go
show examples
 to school. In conclusion,
although
 I agree
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad the family for the
work
 but must choose the perfect country and
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time suitable for the
children
 and
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all family from all aspects.
Submitted by mm14wb on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: