Some people say that planned free-time activities should be supported with parents, othets say that children should occupy themselves on their own. Discuss the different perspectives and give your opinion.

#people #free-time #activities #parents #othets #children #perspectives

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Some individuals believe that taking a part in organized group

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

in their spare time should be encouraged,

however

Linking Words

, others believe that it is crucial for

children

Use synonyms

to understand occupying themselves on their own. From my point of view,

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

should

be participated

Change to the active voice

participate

have participated

show examples

in planned activities in their free time.

This

Linking Words

action is beneficial to their mental health and communication

skills

Use synonyms

. First and foremost, participation in

a different activities

Correct the article-noun agreement

different activities

a different activity

show examples

improve

Change the verb form

improves

show examples

the brain plasticity of juveniles.

Moreover

Linking Words

, their cognitive behaviours are developed progressively,

hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenia

Correct your spelling

phenomena

phenomenon

has a positive impact on their mental health.

For instance

Linking Words

, there is a

kids

Change noun form

kid's

kids'

show examples

show called "MasterChef

Juniour

Correct your spelling

Junior

" ,which is containing different

childs

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

from variable age groups,

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

providing a good opportunity to

representing

Wrong verb form

represent

show examples

their

skills

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, these all kids developt their mental health with cooking. They clearly explain that cooking is an example of a therapy.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it can improve their cognitive

skills

Use synonyms

. and their

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, without their families'

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

this

Linking Words

relaxative activity can not be affordable to their offspring.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, many people

considering

Wrong verb form

consider

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

have to learn how to keep busy themselves on their

owns

Replace the word

own

show examples

These

Correct determiner usage

This

show examples

group of parents refuse to provide enough chances to their kids.

In addition

Linking Words

, they negatively affect their communication

skills

Use synonyms

. Without

a planned events

Correct the article-noun agreement

planned events

a planned event

show examples

children

Use synonyms

have no chance to talk with their ages easily.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these events can be considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

ice-breakers among

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation.I believe, people

parents

Correct word choice

and parents

show examples

ought to organise scheduled events for their

children

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

children

Use synonyms

should spend their

free-time

Correct your spelling

free time

show examples

planned

Replace the word

planning

show examples

activities,which

scheduled

Add a missing verb

are scheduled

show examples

with their parents, rather than

occupy

Wrong verb form

occupying

show examples

themselves on their own. It would be a chance for developing communication

skills

Use synonyms

and mental

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

Submitted by historicalpen on Mon Mar 27 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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Some people say that planned free-time activities should be supported with parents, othets say that children should occupy themselves on their own. Discuss the different perspectives and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

as cities get bigger, many people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is being lost. what problems does this cause ? and potential solutions ?

You are going abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter - explain where you hide the keys - describe what your friend needs to do in your absent - say when you are coming back

In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you thinkn it is a positive or negative development?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?