If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to dramatically change our way of life. What is your opinion?

Nowadays, our

planet

Use synonyms

needs our help. So, we must change our lifestyle. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explain how we change our lifestyle. Let's commence by looking at the first course and its solution. I think it is factories and personal car's polluted

air

Use synonyms

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

polluted

air

Use synonyms

is too harmful to our

planet

Use synonyms

and the atmosphere. If we

will

Verb problem

show examples

not prevent it on time our earth can die, and polluted

air

Use synonyms

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to the earthʼs Azan layer breaking. Its solution is we must restrict our personal cars and

factoryʼs'

Change noun form

factoryʼs

show examples

numbers. It can lead to helping our earth.

This

Linking Words

method is very effective.

Hence

Linking Words

, our world-developed countries use

this

Linking Words

method, and their natural resource and the

air

Use synonyms

is like a new, and too fresh Let's start by looking at the second reason and its solution. I think it is we must restrict visits to other planets and we must protect our natural resources.

Hence

Linking Words

, our natural wealth organises for our

planet

Use synonyms

. If we protect our natural wealth, our

planet

Use synonyms

will never die. Nowadays plenty of developed countries

uses

Correct subject-verb agreement

use

show examples

rackets and space ship for going for research from space. These rackets and space

areships

Correct your spelling

airships

ships

useful

Add a missing verb

are useful

show examples

for people.

However

Linking Words

, those things are harmful to our

planet

Use synonyms

. Nowadays our

planet

Use synonyms

needs

peopleʼs

Change noun form

people's

show examples

help.

To sum up

Linking Words

, if we would love to protect our

planet

Use synonyms

, we must restrict personal cars and factoryʼs numbers.

Although

Linking Words

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

demands that things, our earth will not die. In my view, now we live in

this

Linking Words

place and we are responsible for our

planet

Use synonyms

abrorjon_1995

Mar 27, 2023

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coherence cohesion

It is essential to include an introduction and conclusion in the essay to provide a clear framework for the discussion and to summarize the main points.

task response

The essay addresses the task prompt but lacks detail and development in the discussion. It would benefit from providing more specific examples and elaborating on the ideas further.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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If we want to save the future of the planet, we will have to dramatically change our way of life. What is your opinion?

Films and computer games which contain violence are very popular. Some people believe that they have a negative effect on society and so should be banned. Other people, however, say that they are just harmless and help people to relax. Discuss both points of view and five your own opinion.

In many countries, some children spend a long time each a day or their smartphone instead of reading book. Do you agree or disagree?

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem

Some people feel that we have made quite enough progress in the field of medicine. Others however feel that we have to go an extra mile in this field. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

With the improvements in today's health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how it can be managed?