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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of part-time workers in each country of the United Kingdom in 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart shows the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who have part-time jobs in the countries that make up the United Kingdom, both in 1980 and
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2010.
Correct your spelling
There has
There's
There'has
Add the auxiliary verb
haveThere'has
show examples
 generally been a small increase in part-time
workers
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 from 1980 to 2010, except in Northern Ireland. The graph
also
Linking Words
 shows that England and Wales have far more part-time
workers
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 than Northern Ireland and Scotland. In 1980, 25% of
people
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 in England worked
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
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. The only country with a greater
percentage
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 of part-time
workers
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 was Wales, with around 33% working
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
. Both countries saw an increase in the
percentage
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 of
people
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 working
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 in 2010. In England, the
percentage
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 rose to over 30% and in Wales
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percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 rose to just over 35%. Scotland had the smallest
percentage
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 of part-time
workers
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 in 1980, with just over ten per cent.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 rose to almost 20% in 2010 which is a large increase.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Northern Ireland was the only country which had a decreasing
percentage
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 of part-time
workers
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. In 1980, it had around 15% of
people
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 in part-time work.
This
Linking Words
 decreased by a couple of per cent in 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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