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Writing Samples
Band 6

The natural resources such as oil, forest and fresh water are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems does it couse? How can we solve these preblems?

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To begin
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, at present
due to
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 globalization and the growth of the
world
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's population which is almost about 8 billion, limited yet immense natural
resources
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such
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 as
oil
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,forest and freshwater have become scarce. It says that by the year 2050, the crude
oil
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 deposits in the entire
world
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 will be consumed completely at
this
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 rate
due to
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 its excess usage. As we are not using these limited
resources
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 in a sustainable manner, our future generations will not be able to get the benefit
Change preposition
of
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
Furthermore
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, compared to a few decades earlier nowadays
people
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 are running after materialistic goods and wealth selfishly , they are using limited natural
resources
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 unlimitedly in order to obtain success and well-being in a shorter period of time and at
present
Add a comma
,present
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 the word "development" is meant by
this
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.
Due to
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 deforestation, droughts may occur more often putting
people
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's life and well-being in danger
due to
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 the limitation of drinkable
water
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.
Moreover
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,
as a result
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 of burning
oil
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 at an alarming rate, acid rains and global warming are being occurred followed by climate changes. Even though, about 72% of the Earth is covered by
water
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, out of that drinkable
water
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 is only around 1% which is very limited. Various diseases and dehydration situations will
also
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 become common and basic human well-being will
also
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 be disturbed
due to
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 the limitation of accessing fresh
water
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.
On the other hand
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, it is not possible and practical to refrain from using natural
resources
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 but rather what we truly can do for our offspring is, consume
such
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resources
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 in a sustainable manner.
Therefore
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, just like our generation,
people
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 will get the opportunity to consume them in future as well. In
this
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 globalized
world
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 with new technologies,
instead
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 of mainly focusing on crude
oil
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 we can start depending more on renewable energy sources like wind, tides and sunlight.
Additionally
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,
people
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 should not waste fresh
water
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 and should obtain the maximum benefit from it.
Also
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, recycling used fresh
water
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 is a better solution to address
this
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 matter.
To conclude
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, we live in a
world
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 where natural
resources
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 are limited yet, could be beneficial for a few more generations if we consume sustainably.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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