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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to leam how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #parents #children #part #group #activities #time #leam
Some parents believe that their
children
 always should do something. It can be homework, sports, art, cleaning, reading, playing
piano
Correct article usage
the piano
show examples
 or
casual
Correct article usage
the casual
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 invention of
time
Correct article usage
a time
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 machine. They want that their kids be busy all the
time
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 they wake up to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bed
Correct your spelling
bedtime
show examples
time
.
This
 approach to parenting can get great results. People who were raised like that know a lot of things, active,
social
Correct word choice
and social
show examples
,
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 management
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
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 since kindergarten but
almost
Add a missing verb
are almost
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 totally burned out. For them can be difficult to be alone and entertain themselves.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 approach to parenting is more relaxed.
This
 type of
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
show examples
 kids
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do anything they want. It can be
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 opportunity for
children
 to explore themselves. What they like and don’t like, their dreams,
desirers
Correct your spelling
desires
show examples
 and fears. But
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
this
 approach can
also
 be destructive. Because without parent help and
advice
Add a comma
,advice
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can be hard for
childe
Correct your spelling
child
show examples
 to decide how to spend
time
 efficiently. I believe, that the best option is to combine these two approaches. Some
time
 and activities must be dedicated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
children
 by parents. But in the other hand, it’s important for kids’ mental health to have at least two free hours per day.
In
Change preposition
At
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this
time
, they can decide what to do. It`s can be playing
videogames
Correct your spelling
video games
show examples
, reading, watching TV, chatting with friends or just sleeping. And
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
Parents
show examples
 need to accept their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
choice
Fix the agreement mistake
choices
show examples
 and don`t blame them. Even if they think that cleaning is a better choice for Sunday afternoon than scrolling social media.
Submitted by illia.gaponiuk on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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