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Band 5.5

The diagram below shows the process by which paper is manufactured and recycled. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the process by which paper is manufactured and recycled. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#process #paper #summarise #information #features #comparisons
THE GIVEN DIAGRAM DEPICTS THE IMPORTANT STEPS INVOLVED IN THE
MANUFACTURATING
Correct your spelling
MANUFACTURING
 AND RECYCLING
PROCESS
 OF PAPEL .
OVERALL
 IT CAN BE SEEN THAT
,
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apply
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THIS
PROCESS
 IS CYCLICAL AND COMPOSED
BY
Change preposition
OF
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 SEVERAL STAGES. WE CAN
ALSO
 SEE THAT IT IS A COMPLEX
PROCESS
 PRODUCED BY BOTH, NATURAL AND
HUMAN - MADE
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HUMAN-MADE
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.
INITIALLY
, TREES ARE CUT BY A SAW IN A KIND OF SHELD,
THEN
 IT FORMS SEVERAL LOGS,
AFTER
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AND AFTER
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THIS
IT
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apply
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IS
SEND
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SENT
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 TO A FACTORY.
SECONDLY
, THE LOGS ARE PRESSED BY A
ROLLER-PRESS
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ROLLER PRESS
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 UNTIL IT HAS TAKEN
A
Correct article usage
THE
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 FORM OF PAPER,
THEN
, AFTER
ITS
Correct pronoun usage
THEIR
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 USE,
IT
Correct pronoun usage
THEY
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 WILL BE RECYCLED AND SHREDDED IN A SHRED MACHINE.
FINALLY
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,FINALLY
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 IT WILL BE
SEND
Wrong verb form
SENT
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 TO A RECYCLING PLANT IN ORDER TO BE PRESSED,
REPETING
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REPEATING
 ALL
HE
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THE
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 CYCLE AGAIN.
TO SUM UP
, IT IS POSSIBLE TO CONFIRM THAT ALL OF
THIS
PROCESS
 INVOLVES COMPLEX STEPS,
HOWEVER
Add a comma
,HOWEVER
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 THOSE ARE WELL ORGANIZED IN ORDER TO
MANUFACTURATE
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MANUFACTURE
 AND RECYCLE THE PAPER TO BE USED MORE TIMES.
Submitted by Nayara on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words process with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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