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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The pie charts give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information
of
Change preposition
about
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 the percentage
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 four typical
meals
Use synonyms
 of different types of nutrients. Dinner
account
Fix the agreement mistake
accounts
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 for the biggest part
in
Change preposition
of
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 the intake of sodium, with a
proportion
Use synonyms
 of 43%. Breakfast and
snacks
Use synonyms
 have
similar
Add an article
a similar
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pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 kind of nutrient, as both are 14%. Lunch makes the rest the part of the whole typical
Use synonyms
meals
Fix the agreement mistake
meal
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, with a percentage of 37%, the largest part of saturated fat
intaking
Replace the word
intake
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 happens in dinner, but not far more than the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of lunch and
snacks
Use synonyms
, which are 21% and 26% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, added
suger
Correct your spelling
sugar
 shows
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 different pattern in the
meals
Use synonyms
--42% in
snacks
Use synonyms
, which
far
Add a missing verb
is far
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 more than the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of other kinds of
meals
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the percentage of other
meals
Use synonyms
 are relatively close to each other. In summary, people eat the most added sugar in their
snacks
Use synonyms
, and saturated fat is relatively average in different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
meals
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, dinner is obviously the most important meal as it has the biggest or
second-beiggest
Correct your spelling
second-biggest
proportion
Use synonyms
 of all kinds of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nutrients.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words meals, proportion, snacks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • unhealthy
  • typical meals
  • percentages
  • saturated fats
  • fibers
  • sugars
  • impact
  • average
  • consumption
  • trends
  • breakfast
  • lunch
  • dinner
  • highest
  • lowest
  • variation
  • implications
  • balanced diet
  • recommendations
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