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Writing Samples
Band 3

the diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevnt.

the diagram below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevnt.
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The figures illustrate the lifespan of
salmon
Use synonyms
, which is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one kind of big fish.
Overall
Linking Words
,
salmon
Use synonyms
's life cycle has three main stages. It begins in the upper
river
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
river
Use synonyms
 and
finally
Linking Words
open
Add an article
the open
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 sea. they live ten years during those stages.
Salmon
Use synonyms
 eggs are located in the upper
river
Use synonyms
 below reeds and beside small stones. The
salmon
Use synonyms
 babies, which are called fry, have to live there
five
Change preposition
for five
show examples
 to six months and their length is going to be 3-8 cm. After that, when they grow up about 12 to 15 cm and become smolt, they go
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
Add an article
a
show examples
fast flowing
river
Use synonyms
 and spend four years of their life on that. Adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 with
Add an article
a length
the length
show examples
length
Fix the agreement mistake
lengths
show examples
 of 70 to 76 cm, live the
last
Linking Words
 five of their lives in
open
Add an article
the open
show examples
 sea.
Finally
Linking Words
, adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 go to the upper
river
Use synonyms
 to put their eggs in the bottom of the reeds.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon, river with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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