The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #ten #years #effects #trend

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Looking at the main features, which is concerning overweight children in the

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20 years, it's evident the way in which two different views make space between them, giving the opportunity to think and admit a personal idea, after having made a comparison and clear sentence, taking into consideration the causes that lead to the events.

To begin

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with, the first view which is related to the increase of 20% in the overweight, many reasons may explain why in the

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20 years, some situations haven't changed for lots of children. One clear example could be especially the growth of the internet, which has changed lots of aspects of daily life in general, and

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, young generations start preferring to stay at home by spending their leisure time watching

Correct your spelling

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or playing video games, with a company of food near them. Following with the second view, which should be the opposite of the other one, the main factor of

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paragraph in fact is the comparison of how the other hand, in the

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20 years, 80% of kids have been able to maintain a healthy weight.

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, a good and healthy alimentation can be helpful,

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as a daily routine can help them to do several activities, making sure to burn calories in one way or another. In my view, every single situation has the proper motivation and causes for why the thing happens,

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, I suppose that it's important to analyse and make a comparison where it's relevant, observing family circumstances and the rest of the vary wide factors, that have influenced the lives of young guys. To end up with, what has been already discussed, is dominant to highlight the carrying of every single child, understanding the reason for particular factors, but always with extreme prudence.

Submitted by veronicalindiner1998 on Wed Mar 29 2023

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coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates some level of coherence and cohesion, with a logical structure and clear introduction and conclusion. However, the essay lacks more in-depth analysis and development of ideas. Ideas should be supported with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen the argument.

task achievement

The response adequately addresses the task but lacks depth and thorough exploration of causes and effects. The essay should provide more comprehensive ideas and analyze the causes and effects of the trend in greater detail. Additionally, relevant specific examples and evidence are needed to support the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

302 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
obesity
caloric intake
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
physical education
nutritious
psychological well-being
self-esteem
socioeconomic
healthcare system
life expectancy
obesity-related complications

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Fully explain your ideas

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

You had a birthday party and you were playing loud music. Your neighbour complained. Write a letter of apology explaining that it was a special occasion and that it won't happen again.

Some people think the government should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes, while others believe that spending should focus on facilities for the general public. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There are serious concerns about the sale and production of genetically modified food. Yet this is necessary if we are to meet the demands often increasing world population. Give your opinions on this.