The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 2005, 2010, 2015.

The bar chart showed the percentage of school children learning to play four different musical instruments (violin, guitar, piano, drums) in 2005, 2010, 2015.
The given chart illustrates the proportion of
students
who played 4 types of musical instruments namely:
guitar
, piano, drums and violin for a 10-year period. In general, the percentage of
students
who played the
guitar
and the piano grew up steadily,
while
these figures for other instruments fluctuated
unsignificantly
Correct your spelling
significantly
. Looking at the graph for more detail, the
guitar
was played by more than 10% of
students
in 2005 and increased rapidly to reach 20% in 2010. In 2015, the percentage of
students
who were
guitarist
Fix the agreement mistake
guitarists
show examples
reach a peak of around 27% of the total
children
Correct quantifier usage
number of children
show examples
.
This
figure for the piano was followed up
the
Change preposition
by the
show examples
figure for the
guitar
, from approximately 10% in 2005 to
climbed
Change the form of the verb
climb
show examples
to 25% in the next 10 years.
By contrast
, the proportion of children who played the drums remained unchanged
around
Change preposition
at around
show examples
6% from 2005 to 2010, and increase slightly to almost 8% in 2015.
Otherwise
,
this
figure for the violin was stay stable at 7% in the first 5-year period and decreased minimally to 6% in 2015.
Submitted by thanhvinhdoi338 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words students, guitar with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!