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Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph gives the percentage of tourist`s visits for England art galleries,pavilions,piers and festivals in Brighton.

The line graph gives the percentage of tourist`s visits for England art galleries,pavilions,piers and festivals in Brighton.
#line #percentage #tourist`s #visits #england #art #galleries #pavilions #piers #festivals #brighton
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The line graph gives the percentage of
tourist`s
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists'
show examples
 visits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 England
art
Use synonyms
 galleries,pavilions,piers and festivals in Brighton.
Overall
Linking Words
,it shows a general steadiness until a sudden plateau in
Use synonyms
pavilion
Add an article
the pavilion
show examples
 and
art
Use synonyms
gallery
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 years. Both pier and festival remained stable trend along the period.
Case
Correct article usage
The case
show examples
 of
art
Use synonyms
gallery
Use synonyms
 and
pavilion
Use synonyms
 tended to go up,
although
Linking Words
 they were
abrupt
Change the word
abruptly
show examples
 levelling out in both.By 1995
pavilion
Use synonyms
 attraction had reached its highest peak
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 50% and
art
Use synonyms
gallery
Use synonyms
 in 1985 for
fourty
Correct your spelling
forty
four
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
 they showed remarkable steadiness despite touring to
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
an art
show examples
Use synonyms
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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 gradually
decreased
Wrong verb form
decreasing
show examples
 in 2010 .
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
Use synonyms
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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commenced
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 steadiness in 1990 and
Use synonyms
pavilion
Correct article usage
the pavilion
show examples
 in 2000 with the rate of
art
Use synonyms
gallery
Use synonyms
 visits being generally higher. The
proportin
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of
festival
Add an article
the festival
show examples
 was loftier than
pier
Add an article
the pier
show examples
.In spite of that,
pier
Add an article
the pier
show examples
 had slight fluctuations over the period and significantly soared to twenty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2010. Meanwhile,
festival`s
Correct article usage
the festival`s
show examples
 tendency stayed on
stayed on
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
static.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words art, pavilion, gallery with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "steadiness" was used 3 times.
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