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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world

The pie charts below show the coffee production, coffee consumption and the profit distribution around the world
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The three charts depict
coffee
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 production,
coffee
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 consumption, and
profit
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distribution
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 around the globe. South Africa produces the most significant
coffee
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 in the world with a percentage of 41%. In the second position is Indonesia making up around 22% globally. The
rest
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 counties given
such
Linking Words
 as Japan and Vietnam produce under 20%. For
coffee
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 consumption, Europe consumes slightly much more than America with differences average of 2% . Japan drinks
coffee
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 moderately less than the
rest
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 of the world.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
rest
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 of the countries use
coffee
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 just over 10 per cent. Looking at the details in
profit
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distribution
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,
coffee
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 delivery is the most significant income for
distribution
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 around the globe which is more than half of the
rest
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, retailers relatively contribute
profit
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 to 24%, meanwhile, producers considerably earn 15 per cent.
However
Linking Words
, Export still gives under 10% of
profit
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 in
coffee
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distribution
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, South Africa and Asia massively generate
coffee
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 for global
distribution
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, and western countries
such
Linking Words
 as Europe and America are the biggest market for
coffee
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover, such".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, profit, distribution, rest with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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