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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think they have the right to use as much fresh water as they want, but others believe government should control the use of freshwater as it is a limited resource. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #right #water #government #control #resource
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It is believed by some people that people should be free with respect to reaching freshwater
sources
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while
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 others assert that these
sources
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 should be in control by
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government
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the government
show examples
due to
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 their limits. Freedom
in
Change preposition
of
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 accessing freshwater may be beneficial for individuals’
health
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. Looking
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
this
Linking Words
 case from the other side,
water
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sources
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 are not limitless and it may lead to draughts in some regions. On the one hand, freedom in
accessibility
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the accessibility
show examples
 of fresh
water
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 may increase societies’
health
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 quality. Many populated regions have been suffering
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
water
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 limitations and
this
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 action would change their status. They can
use
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 fresh
water
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 in drink, washing foods and showering and they have given up consuming bottled
waters
Fix the agreement mistake
water
show examples
 to maintain their
health
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 and
thus
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, they can preserve their money.
Additionally
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, they may
use
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water
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 in their gardens to obtain more healthy groceries and fruits.
Hence
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, they would get some profits in terms of
health
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 and funds.
On the other hand
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,
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government
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the government
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 ought to control in
distributing
Replace the word
distribution
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 of freshwater
sources
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due to
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 their limited amount.
Although
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 some restrictions have happened in terms of using
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water
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 supplies and they seem not fair for consumers, these actions would bring some profit in sustainability
accessing
Replace the word
access
show examples
 in long term.
For example
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, without these restrictions, some people may
use
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sources
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 unnecessarily and
government
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 may not distribute supplies in critical durations
such
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 as springs and summers.
In addition
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, limitless distribution may damage
water
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 infrastructures and
likelihood
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the likelihood
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 of
water
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 cuts may increase.
Therefore
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,
ruling
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the ruling
a ruling
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of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
sources
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 may be beneficial for permanent
use
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. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
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 discussion. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
free
Correct article usage
the free
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 using these
sources
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 have some considerable positive impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 individuals’ situations, in my opinion,
sources
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 should be managed by
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 owing to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
 benefits. 46 dk.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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