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Band 5.5

Big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
It is often argued by some that high pay-out is essential over contentment of
job
.
Although
 some might agree with
this
 statement;
however
, I completely disagree. Not only because
job
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 is mandatory and finding a
satisfied
Replace the word
satisfying
show examples
 profession necessary for health but
also
 because it is important for future targets. There are multiple benefits of self-satisfaction towards a position.
Firstly
, it is compulsory to find an office where a person can get respect and
also
 an appreciation for his brilliant work and if sometimes he makes a mistake
then
instead
 of firing the boss support him and give him the courage to accomplish his work again. As in many companies, the authorities disrespect their staff and torture them if they make a mistake. Take the example of private companies, many people left their office because their administration disgusts them in front of other employees.
Thus
, it is important to find a workplace where one feels safe.
Secondly
, apart from
job
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
, finding a satisfying career is a necessity for a person who cannot control his stress and anxiety because high-paying jobs always give stress to the project. As a company that offers huge pay, they
also
 want to achieve their purpose through their employment.
For instance
, a report conducted by Public Health Organization
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 revealed that many people suffer from anxiety and depression because of their office load.
Hence
,
it is clear that
 choosing a secure career is vital.
Finally
, everyone should target a goal for the future. As
,
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apply
show examples
 no one can carry on his membership for a lifetime with a company.
Therefore
 it is
also
 necessary to achieve his dreams.
To sum up
, I believe a delightful
job
 is better than high pay, getting a good workplace for your personal and professional life and setting goals for the future to achieve it.
Submitted by hkhan8597 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
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