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Band 2

canadian's people in the 18 to 25 age group use several devices to watch television in 2009 and 2019

#canadian #people #age #group #devices #television
the pie charts illustrate
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that canadian's
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canadian's
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Canadian
 people in the 18 to 25 age group
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 several devices to watch television in 2009 and 2019. they are six devices namely mobile
phone
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phones
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,
laptop
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laptops
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,
tablet
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tablets
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,
dekstop
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desktop
computer
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computers
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, flat-screen
TV
 and conventional
TV
. In 2009 the
users
Correct quantifier usage
number of users
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 of mobile
phone
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phones
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 was 15% and in 2019 it increased to 11% and became 26%. Laptop
users
 in 2019 became 12%
slightly
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slight
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decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
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 from 2009. Tablet
users
 in 2009
was
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were
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 20% and it
was slightly increase
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was slightly increased
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 to 19% in 2019.
Betwen
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Between
 2019 and 2019 from
dekstop
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desktop
 computers
users
 it
was slightly decrease
Change the verb form
was slightly decreased
show examples
 from 18% to 12%. In 2019 flat-screen
TV
users
 increased by 19% from 2009.
However
, in 2009 conventional
tv
 get more percentage
with
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of
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 34% but in 2019 the number decreased
bu
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by
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 30% became just 40%.
To sum up
,
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a user
the user
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user
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users
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 in 2009 and 2019 experienced some changing. People changed their
device
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devices
show examples
 to watch television. People in 2019 usually use
flatscreen
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a flatscreen
the flatscreen
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 and mobile
phone
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phones
show examples
 and
almsot
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almost
 left conventional
TV
 with just 4% left.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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